I really can’t believe that we only have 5 weeks left! I am completely mixed with emotions. I feel so excited and ready for him to get here. I am so ready to hold him and stare at this little guy who was made by Jameson and me. Yet, on the other hand I feel completely unprepared and scared out of my mind!
I am the kind of person who likes to know what’s going on, when and where, and have stuff planned out. So this whole baby thing is completely throwing me off. I feel totally ill-equipped, unqualified, and untrained for this BIG change that’s about to take place in our lives. I keep freaking out on Jameson that there isn’t enough time left. I especially feel like I don’t have time to get everything ready for his arrival because we work all day. Everything we have left to do on the baby’s room I need Jameson’s help with, so even on my free time I can’t do anything. Then when we get home from work we’re both worn out and don’t feel like doing much of anything.
In addition to that, every time I go to the store I ALWAYS have to go to the baby section now to look around. Then every time I look around I feel more and more like we don’t have everything we need. Yeah sure we have the clothes and diapers, but there are so many more things. And considering how fast babies grow we have enough clothes for when he’s born, but like nothing past newborn and 3 months. I don’t even know if he will fit into newborn clothes by the time he gets here because he’s suppose to be 8 pounds. There is just so much to consider and think about before he comes and even after he gets here. My mind is constantly going and going. It’s really stressful. Not that everything has to be perfect before he gets here, but I want to at least feel somewhat ready. Is that possible?
I know you can never be fully prepared for being a parent and I’m sure most woman feel like this, but I still can't help it. I am about to take full responsibility for this little being who just came straight from Heavenly Father. He will be ours to look after and care for. Then when I think about it that way it eases my mind a little bit. I know if we weren’t ready to be parents at least somewhat, Heavenly Father probably would not have allowed me to get pregnant in the first place. I also know you learn by doing, and a lot of things I feel unprepared for will come to me with practice and experience. It’s still hard to cover up those feelings of anxiety and worry. Even if we are completely unprepared, I still cannot wait for him to get here!!
